Gay Christians sometimes envy our straight friends. We shouldn’t.
Another from mid-2017…
“I don’t think I’m going to change your mind, and I don’t think you’re going to change mine. And that’s ok. We don’t have to agree. But I do want you to feel like we can talk about it.”
This was a big step for me, to assert my thoughts, to hear someone else’s, and to not instantly push to come to some point of agreement. It was a really personal issue, but we both came from perspectives very rooted in our pasts and in our present situation. Continue reading “Pressure Cooker and Potted Plant”
Four additional points, following up on yesterday’s post…
 I say “certain experiences” of art, relationship, and prayer are needed for the maturation of one’s erotic life because not any experience will suffice. Continue reading “Catholicism, Pornography, and Homosexuality”
I worry that we frequently confuse the longing for beauty (which includes the longing for another’s beauty) and the sexual urge which ultimately seeks orgasm through the use of anther. One way in which this confusion occurs is the way in which we think about pornography. We frequently think of the longing for and use of pornography as solely one’s expression of the sexual urge, but I believe it is often much more a complex coping with one’s unlived erotic life.
In my own experience, the longing for pornography isn’t simply a voyeuristic desire to facilitate the activities of sexual organs. The contexts in which such a desire arises and is pursued suggest something else. Continue reading “From Pornography to Persons”
It’s important for me to ask some basic questions when getting relationship advice.
Chad and I are sitting in the smallest coffee shop in St. Paul, sipping slightly spicy lattes, while Mary works the espresso machine for the yuppie who has just walked in with his rodent-dog. Chad and I are talking about the guy I’m currently dating. Continue reading “Want it to work”
Last week, I had a post on Catholicism, homosexuality, teleology, and holding hands. The post generated a discussion among some friends, and I thought I’d share it (to begin, you should probably skim the post here).
The cast of characters:
- Beth, college professor
- Chris, author of this blog (and pot-stirrer)
- Sam, husband/father/architect (and skeptic towards social media debates)
- Josh, seminarian
- David, canon lawyer
- Liz, mother of 3 (and avid reader of Aquinas)
- Tom, a lover, not a fighter Continue reading “Catholics Discuss: Can Gay Catholics Hold Hands?”
I was recently trying to work through the Church’s teaching on homosexuality with a few friends. A classic example (or test case) among my peers came up: two gay men holding hands.  They presented a common concern among many Catholics:
“When two people of the opposite sex in a romantic relationship hold hands, the handholding is directed towards marriage; the holding of hands has the conjugal relationship as its ultimate ‘end.’ But what’s the ‘end’ for two men holding hands?” 
Several weeks ago, I was asked in a facebook group whether mental health was a good reason for a gay person to set aside a commitment to celibacy. A young man wanted to know, more or less, whether it was “better to need medication for mental health issues than to stay committed to a traditional Christian sexual ethic.” Here’s, more or less, what I had to say… Continue reading “But what if celibacy harms my mental health?”
For background, the organizer sent us a few short readings:
- Friendship and Catholic Teaching about Homosexuality, by Ron Belgau
- Bullying and Bridge Building, by Eve Tushnet
- Reflections from Oriented to Love: From Chains to Garlands, by Eve Tushnet
- Pope Francis’ LGBT Apology, by Eve Tushnet
- An interview with Fr. Paul Check of Courage International
I had a group of about six people: a seminarian, a former seminarian who now teaches theology, a young married couple (both grad students), and two women who work in youth ministry. Continue reading “Catholic Young Adults Discuss: Homosexuality”
A while ago, I had a friend going through his first major heartbreak. This is what I told him to expect:
First, you’ll feel like a crazy person. You’ll have this fog that you’ll be swimming through, and it’ll be like you’re wading through a thick water that’s filled your head, and you don’t know how to get it out so that things can be clear again. Continue reading “What to Expect with Heartbreak”
A youth minister friend asked for me to put together a short video for her high school youth group on being gay and Catholic. Here’s what I threw together! Continue reading “my life, gay and Catholic”